The Powerful Words of Kris Kristofferson, the Ways of the Silver-tongued Devil and my Own Demon Depression
Last week was a rough one in the land of entertainment with many entertainers dying. Kris Kristofferson's death was a personal blow to me and I'm not ashamed to admit that I shed a few tears.
I read somewhere once (I wish I could remember where) that the reason we take it so hard when celebrities we love die, even though we've never met them, is because they're with us in the most important times of our lives.
In the case of singers and certainly Kris Kristofferson for me, I played him when I was happy and celebrating and his music certainly was a major comforting factor during the most loneliest times of my life.
I couldn't play him when I was Depressed though. I think the pain in some of his lyrics were just too much for me during those times. And I remember being particularly pissed off with an ex who had stolen from me (and I didn't have much at the time) because, at the time, he'd also stolen the joy of listening to Kris from me.
Yeah, I got over it.
But for me, the biggest thing about Kris Kristofferson (apart from the deep gravelly voice) was his writing. The man was a fucking genius with words.
I could list my favorite Kris Kristofferson songs, but it would take a while. There isn't anything he's written that I don’t like. Here's a few I recommend you check out, just because the lyrics prove Mr Kristofferson was a man who understood humans:
And this one! Oh, the man wrote this song just for me, I have known many silver-tongued devils.
I could go on, but honestly, if I keep looking up his songs I'm never going to get to the end of this piece, or to the point I'm trying to make. Other than going on about how wonderful this guy was.
So, back to his writing. I've always wanted to write and I've always had stories in my head. For most of my life, I've ignored these stories and the desire to write but when I finally faced up to the fact that I would never be a mother, something that was absolutely devastating for me, I looked for a way to actually live with that fact and not allow myself to sink to the bottom of the abyss and drink myself to death.
I found that in writing. (I'm getting to the Kris Kristofferson bit, I promise). I did what I was always advising my mental health clients to do and I began to write. At that time, I couldn't bring myself to write about how I was feeling because I wasn't able to form the words yet, so I wrote a novel. And I rediscovered the joy of writing.
But. I'm not a good writer. I intend to be a good writer, but I'm not there yet. That's where Kris Kristofferson comes in. He takes ordinary situations, like a Sunday morning, for example, and with his words, he turns those situations into pure beauty.
I want to do that. I want to use words the way Kris Kristofferson does. I want to be that expressive, be able to portray emotions and the human condition so eloquently, like he does. Sorry, like he did.
I want to be able to write the way Kris Kristofferson did. If I can be 3/4’s as good as he was, I'll be very, very, happy.
I've said it before and I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s true: Writing saved my life. If I hadn't started writing again, I would have drunk myself to death, or at the very least, had one of those stupid accidents people have when they're drunk.
Instead, I learned to express myself, and my Depression, through writing. And Kris Kristofferson has given me a goal with that writing. Something to aspire to. The man is a huge inspiration to me, and I don't say that about many people.
In fact, the only other man I think I've ever said that about was one who I had to do some rethinking about recently. I now still admire is work, but not the man. (If you know, you know).
I shall continue to listen to Kris Kristofferson's words, and I will continue to study how he arranges them and I will be forever grateful to him.
RIP Kris Kristofferson
"All I'm taking is your time/Help me make it through the night."
Desperation never sounded more real.