How to Manage Family Bullshit When you Have Depression
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Family. They can really suck, can't they?
I've just had a row with my brother which ended in us both shouting at each other and me hanging up the phone.
Nothing unusual in that, it happens a lot.
The whole sorry mess has got me thinking about managing family strife when you have Depression.
I'm upset right now. I have every right to be upset, its a normal reaction to having a disagreement with somebody. Also, the topic we were arguing about is upsetting too. So, there's a lot going on there.
But, the whole thing leads me to wonder. Would I have handled this differently if I did not live with Depression every day of my life. Obviously, I can't be 100% sure of the answer but at a guess, I would say no.
Even though I have Depression, I also have emotions just like everybody else.
Even though I have Depression, I can make decisions for myself and decide what is best for myself.
Even though I have Depression, I can allow myself to sit with my emotions, try to understand why I feel the way I do about certain things and allow myself to feel without going straight into prevention mode.
I don't have to activate my shit day plan, I don't have to put the row out of my mind and get on with things, I don’t have to talk it out.
I can simply allow myself to feel what I feel right now. Rightly or wrongly.
I do have to be careful that my current feelings don't last too long, or turn into something else. But right now, it’s enough to acknowledge how I feel, let it be, and know that, one way or another, I'll get over it.
Depression is an illness. Being upset is a mood.
Both are valid and both are real but, they need to be treated differently.
When we live with Depression, normal emotions can be frightening. We always have to be aware that they might turn into something else but we also need to remember that not every emotion will.
If we allow our fear of emotions to stop us feeling, we won’t be living at all.
So, for today, I'll sit with my emotions. I won't dwell on the row too much and I won’t allow it to ruin my day anymore than it already has. I’ll keep it all in perspective and move on.